Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
