I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
