you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
