How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
