Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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