who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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