Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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  (203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7
  Replies (8) Good night (2441) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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  (315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6
  Replies (15) Good night (1131) Bad night (3922)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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  (732): I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest http://tfl.nu/b35x
  Replies (20) Good night (5427) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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  (717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea
  Replies (8) Good night (5362) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.

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  (+64): I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable. http://tfl.nu/t0un
  Replies (4) Good night (2419) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

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  (714): If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual. http://tfl.nu/13n4
  Replies (10) Good night (2505) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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  (925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn
  Replies (10) Good night (1261) Bad night (1952)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.

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  (636): I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph. http://tfl.nu/fo7j
  Replies (7) Good night (2242) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.

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  (805): OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine. http://tfl.nu/qt1j
  Replies (12) Good night (2661) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.

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  (319): I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy. http://tfl.nu/xw2e
  Replies (5) Good night (1345) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.

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  (989): I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night. http://tfl.nu/dsb1
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Are you wearing clothes?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Fuck no, who do you think I am

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  (509): Are you wearing clothes? (425): Fuck no, who do you think I am http://tfl.nu/22rj
  Replies (6) Good night (1688) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing

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  (734): I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing http://tfl.nu/hsq9
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise

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  (253): I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise http://tfl.nu/l8ok
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.

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  (843): I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jdvw
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (535)

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