hotties wanna shake it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.