Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?