Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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