i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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