Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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