i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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