porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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