Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize