Cold hands, warm shart.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
