I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Four minutes until I can fart!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
whose parrot is this?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You can make out without kissing