Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
