It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
