I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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