so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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