I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
