So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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