I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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