I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
