yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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