erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize