i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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