you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
