So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
