why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
