I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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