apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
