Can Purell be used as lube?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
