this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
how drunk are you?
Several
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
