So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
