I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
