You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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