She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
