I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
