Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
