just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
