i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
