yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
