Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
