I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
