I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
