so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
