Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
