I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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