If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize