So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
