it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
