There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
