White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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