Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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