Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Come see our sink grown plant.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
