I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
