I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
my liver is dry heaving
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
