I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i came on her dog
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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