I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
be right there i have to get my cape
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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