God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
