i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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