lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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