if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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