Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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