david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
