all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
