This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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